Enviousness, covetousness, jealousy is the desiring of something belonging to someone else. It could be anything from wealth, status to happiness, love and beauty. The typical jealous mindset says that if someone has something, why doesn’t he have it? why doesn’t he have the Ferrari? why is he not the owner of that big house? why is he not as famous as that actor? or why is he not intelligent as the guy next door? As a result he despises them. He hates the very fact that someone is superior than him. Such people also think that if they can’t have something, others should not have them too. If they can’t afford to buy a farm or be a billionaire my friend or my neighbour shouldn’t be able too. They can’t stand someone owning something that he is unable to.
How to disown this hurtful trait?
1.Find a goal: You would be saying, how come finding a goal is linked to ridding of jealousy. Well, it is very much so. When you find out what you really want to achieve in life, automatically, your whole focus is shifted to achieving that thing and only that thing. You have no time for resentment and enviousness. You don’t bother thinking about your neighbour who recently bought a Rolls Royce. You have got your own target to work towards. So put aside all the discontentments for others and ask yourself, what is my aim? what do i want to achieve in life? what am i so passionate about? what is my obsession? Believe me once you answer these questions you are too occupied to be bothered by others.
2.Change your attitude:
“Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy.” It is so applicable here if you notice. This neighbour of yours has got a better job than you, he is well off, got a loving family. Now it is totally up to you, either to envy him and wish his job be taken and he leads a miserable life or on the other hand you take inspiration from him and learn from him, notice the good things about him and trying to apply them on yourself. You see, it’s all about attitude. Tell yourself, “if he can do it, so can i, after all he is just a human being as i am.” You just have to have that confidence in you and how sensibly you go about it.
But what about the inborn qualities that people have?
You would be wondering now, ok that is that, but what about the naturally talented people. People who are born intelligent, or beautiful or lucky. First of all does it matter to you? Has it caused you any harm or given you any benefits? No! so why even bother? But you would be saying, you hate them for that very fact that they got something for free and that’s eating you inside. Well, if that is the case, then ask yourself, are there some people who might be saying the same thing about you? And believe me, you would find lots of people who wished they were as privileged as you. It may be the family that you are born into, or the place you belong to, or maybe for some bizarre reason they do find you attractive! Just kidding, but trust me there are people out there. As far as intelligence or luck is concerned, well you tell me, being born genius or fortunate is exciting or working hard and earning it and one day realising, “WOW! I am super smart and fortunate and you know what? I wasn’t born with it but i worked my ass off for it and i am proud of myself!” After all this is what makes life so exciting, having to earn something and being proud of it! Isn’t it? God! Life would so boring if i was gifted with all the life’s fortunes and i didn’t have to reach out for them.
Being jealous of someone isn’t something to be ashamed of. In fact if used in a positive way, it could take us along way. Life isn’t fair, you know it and i know it and this is what makes it exhilarating.