Funny near death experience

Alright! So as you know the title name, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE, you may already be giggling within yourselves, right? I know, and it is true, remind yourself of one of your friends, with whom you were sharing stories one day and he started like “dude, you won’t believe me what happened that day, i nearly died.” And amid his narration of the story his face expression changing to a funny, still frightening one, and at that very moment, you realise you can’t control your chuckling anymore and you burst out laughing! So don’t need to control your laughs, you FOLKERS! I hope whatever i had to go through that day, one day you may also experience the same thing! huh!

So what happened was, i went to this adventurous park full of weird, lizard, crocodile, dragon, you name it, all these scary animal-shaped rides. Me and my friend were laughing our asses off seeing the expressions on the faces of those riders which were full of horror, their red faces changing to the most yellowish you could think of as they were about to experience the most freakish of all the rides. Then all of a sudden this bitch friend of mine, i dunno what on earth happened to him that he couldn’t enjoy the pleasant moment and shouted in excitement, “I am going in that ride right now and you are coming along!” And at that very moment my laughing at those poor riders which i thought would cause my intestines to come out of my body, had converted to the very WTF?!! expression you could ever imagine. I was like dude, are you f****ng serious? Instantly i refused to go along. In his reply, this buddy of mine didn’t do nothing, nothing he said or did but…..but gave me such an annoying stare that i knew that the consequences of going in in that ride were bad but the aftermath of my refusal would be worse. So half-heartedly i agreed and went along with him.

As we settled down into our seats and fastened our seat belts, i looked around and realised, the ride was full and that it could go off any moment. That was when i closed my eyes and talked or at least tried to talk to god for the very first time, it went off like this, “hey god, i hope you are doing well, but to be honest, i m in a spot of bother here as you can see, i know we haven’t communicated with each other for a long time, but help your poor creature out here won’t you?( Now obviously i was feeling a little guilty at that moment, of course i didn’t show that to god, you see, you have to be assertive as not to be denied of your request, specially to god. But the irony was that god knew all the stuff! He knew that i was the guilty one, that i was contacting him after a while and that too when i was in trouble. So i further pushed for my plea and started shouting “i am sorry, i am sorry, i am sorry, it won’t happen again!” My friend and the others in our row seat upon hearing my cry for help had the time of their lives, their laughing and chuckling and their irritating consolation added only anger to my already frightened situation. We were in the middle of this so called adventure, when suddenly the ride stopped and i realised that my position was up sided down, i could see the vague images of the people down there, shouting and laughing to their folks, all the while i was cursing the in-charge of the ride, “How could you be so heartless??” I started screaming and forcefully closed my eyes, when i realised i was nearing my death. And then i had a go at the god, “Ok god, i guess you are insisting that we meet each other soon, obviously you can’t wait a little longer, I’m just 21! Come on! I am not even married ;( Help me, would you?! FOR YOUR SAKE!” Then downward the ride went and stopped. “God finally listened to my cry for help,” i thought. Only upon then, everybody including this monster friend of mine shouted, “once more, once more!” My reaction to those demons was “Oh Yeh? Bitches! you can enjoy as long as you want, but i am off from here.” Still in trauma, i somehow managed to get off from there and swore in my heart if i ever went even close to that devil of a thing.

A Story of Broken Heart “Heart Patients” Illustrated in a Humorous Way

Story of broken heart “heart patients”

Heart patients on hearing the news of federal panel’s backing of approval of a new powerful drug to protect against heart attacks left them with series of heart attacks.

if we analyse the situation here, people with heart diseases are mostly 50 and above. According to the doctors one of the leading causes of heart attacks is the high level of presence of LDL which is a bad cholesterol and I sure as hell don’t know what does that even mean?? But ask the sufferers of this pathetic disease, their immediate reaction would be “Oh, doctors can say whatever they like but I know what’s the cause of my heart disease. It’s not the bad cholesterol, its the bad children of mine. They say the drug lowers the level of these cholesterols but I say if you could only lower the preoccupied level of my children, I’d be more than thankful.”

According to these patients, “doctors are very strange people which is very much understandable from the amount of books they read over the course of their lives but we as the victims of this disease would suggest to them, I m sorry did I say “suggest??” what I meant to say is that I on behalf of all my fellow victims “request” the cardiologists to find a formula to straighten out the behaviour of our children, the generation Y. You see, its not the increasing level of bad cholesterol that is the cause, but it is the increasing level of so called “productivity” of these kids that is killing us. Doctors of highly intellect profession, we expect a solution, be it not the most accurate one, but at least something which would make these highly occupied children of ours, for once in their lifetime, want to listen to us.”

“We don’t say that you are wrong, in fact we admire you for trying to come up with a solution to the disease, you maybe right about the bad cholesterol thing, but when we feel discomfort, heaviness or pain in the chest, when the anxiety attacks us, it is generally when we see the heads of our children, yes, not faces, as they are screened onto their smart phones, either occupied by Facebook or coming up with a reply to a friend on what the best pages on meme are?!!! It seems that the only way that we can communicate with them is by whatsapping them or by putting them in our Facebook friends list. But even for that, liking and putting up a nice comment on their posts is something that you don’t want to forget or in more accurate words, you dare not to forget!!”

In the end doctors, feeling their integrity has been attacked heard the outcry of the patients. They sat down with them, had a long debate on how to put some sense into this generation of “cool” kids. They understood that as time is changing and so is the lifestyle, specially now than ever with the inventions and technological advances. Reasonably, they shouldn’t be too harsh on them. Although they did suggest these kids should somehow be told and explained that they can’t be involved in their phones all the time. It is for their own sake that they should allocate certain amount of time for each activity. If they don’t organise themselves, there would be no difference between them and the robots in near future. Imagine that! They will have no feelings and certainly no experiences of this beautiful life. And by the time they get old they would realise, “OMG! Im old already, i want to go back again, I want to feel life and experience it.” You are kidding me right?